I cant believe it! My little girl turns 2 today, time really flies. It's amazing to think of where we were 2 years ago today. What an exciting -- turned to nightmare -- series of events. Having a baby should be the most amazing day of your life, we were totally cheated of that.
I never knew the joy of holding my baby right after she entered the world. Yes, I held her...but she never cried, or rooted for milk or held my finger in the 10 seconds I got to hold her before they snatched her away and took her for testing. I didn't get to sigh in relief that the hard part was now over and we could have a day to bond as a new little family. My husband didn't look at me, with our new child lovingly snuggled into my arms, like the proud new papa of a baby girl. As I laid in the room for hours, while my husband disappeared to find out where/what/why/how/etc. had happened to our new girl, I was crying...hemmoraging...I didn't even get to see my little angel until hours and hours later, when they finally took out my IV and let me painfully make my way down to the NICU...where another woman (nurse) had given my child her first bath.
The upside is that as rough as things were....the next 10 weeks proved to be life changing, hard and, at that point, the most education I ever received in my life.
In the past two years I have learned the greatest love I'll ever know. I love more than I've ever loved. I ache more than I've ever ached. I cry more and laugh more than I ever have before. I've grown up. I have more responsibility on my shoulders than I ever thought imaginable. Everything is so complicated and yet my heart so simply belongs to her. I will do everything and then some to give her the best chances in life.
I think of the babies, some we knew -- some we didn't, who never made it out of the NICU. I think of them everyday when I look at my strong little girl and know how truly blessed I am to have her. She makes me get up every morning and thank the universe that she is mine.
Happy Birthday Amelia. I love you more than I can say.
1 hour ago